The Lair

I couldn’t resist invoking a Canadian artist (I use that term loosely) lyrics here; considering her large fanbase and all. No, not really.

It was billed as The Biggest Sporting Weekend for Britain; so in the grand tradition of looking dejected and woebegone on the Monday after, let’s just take stock, shall we?

1. Pre weekend teaser. Russia vs England, Euro 2008 qualifier. Result: England lost 2 - 1. Because looking good (or somewhat decent at least) on paper doesn’t really mean jack when you draw at home to Macedonia. For my next party trick, ask how Spain have been doing in recent football World Cups.

2. South Africa vs England, RWC. Result: England lost 6 - 15. Both teams executed their gameplan to a greater or lesser degree. The vaunted England pack didn’t really make a massive impact (guess that makes the Aussie forwards look even sillier, eh?), the Saffers won incredible amounts of lineout ball, England conceded too many penalties and … crucially, England had Jonny’s boot. The Saffers had Percy “lookit ma hair” Montgomery and the fricking fantastic Francois Steyn to do their kicking. Fair result, I’d reckon. For my money, I thought the Cueto disallowed try was legit, though the replays later indicated otherwise.

3. Lewis got pipped to the title. That lil crybaby Alonso got pipped too, but that’s a separate matter. After all the hype, the championship lead of several months - well, he didn’t make it. I suppose I could rumble on about the endless soap opera of “Why did he three stop? Why didn’t the team call him in sooner in the Shanghai Grand Prix? How did his engine cut out? Was it sabotage?”. I really like the Anthony Hamilton response about no one being unhappy in the Hamilton camp though. It is his rookie year, after all. And the commentator speculation about Alonso possibly stepping aside and retiring from the race if Hamilton had muscled his way into 6th place was all sorts of fun. (“Considering he’s going to leave the team as soon as this race is finished, you think he’ll listen? I think he’ll have some radio trouble if the team boss tells him to retire”).

4. Ronnie O’Sullivan loses to Marco Fu in the Snooker Grand Prix. O’Sullivan? An English name? Well, I never. But anyway. What it said. Perhaps one of the lesser known sporting calamities of the weekend, but there we are.

So, that’s umm.. 0 for 3 then. And on a somewhat related note, I got a new monster TV handmedown last night from my landlord. It’s so fricking large (ok, just 30 or so inches) that it dwarfs even my generously proportioned room. Thus, I am now forever scarred by seeing Graham Norton’s head at roughly double the size that makes for safe viewing. And capping off a thoroughly marvellous sporting weekend, Les Bleus lost, again, to the Argies. Yeah, the Argies play a bit fast and loose with the rules at times, they slow the ball down, prevent teams from running (which I personally hate to see in Union games) - but it’s not really like the French had anyone else to blame but themselves. Not that they will, of course - if the linked article is any indicator. The Argies had the French number from day one. End of story.

No. I didn’t go this year. I honestly didn’t see the point, since the weather was appalling for the most part. Very cloudy and windy. There was a fair bit of rain too. Instead, I stayed at home and watched out of the window (yes, I live sufficiently close to the airfield to allow this) and occasionally ran out into the garden.

Still, nothing like living vicariously through the Flickred up photos of others so I present -

Paul Nichols. Nice photos of the wingwalkers there.
PhilEAF92 (all photos tagged elvington)

Nothing very fancy - and I didn’t hear very many jets either - so all in all, I don’t think I missed a great deal.

I was watching Eurovision a few weeks ago when Terry Wogan intro-ed the segment where the votes were presented.

He said - ok, now you can shout at your TV.

I was eating dinner at the time and I remember being amused at the very idea. Shout at the TV? What does this Wogan chap think I am, uncivilized?

So the vote for Scooch was less than great; I’m sure patriotic Brits would have been shouting at their TV. Me? I was unmoved. Ok, so I cheered a little bit when the hapless Maltese gifted us 12 points. But that’s it.

Fast forward a few weeks later and Beckham won a recall to play at the Brazil-England game at the Wembley. A bit of background, I am most emphatically not on the bring Becks back bandwagon. In fairness though, the guy has earned his place, he’s done the job better than most - recently against Estonia.

Be that as it may, the prematch conversation had started and then Alan Hansen produced this genius piece of fancy verbal footwork. Speaking of the McClaren decision to bring Becks back, he said (paraphrased roughly) “Well, we never said dropping Becks was a good decision, we just said it was a BIG decision“. Umm. Yeah. He never said anything like “Beckham has to go.“. No sir.

What did I do? I squawked in outrage at the TV. Poor innocent TV.

And then, that awesome Apprentice semi-final last night. Where the much despised Katie was told that she was in the final. What did I do?

I shouted at the TV. More like wailed in anguish actually.

Which goes to show that I’m completely unaccustomed to watching television in a family room now.

Ed, don’t read after this bit. It’s a spoiler. You have been warned.

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